Programmers Shmogrammers
Programmers Shmogrammers

Saturday • October 1st 2022 • 11:01:58 pm

Programmers Shmogrammers

Saturday • October 1st 2022 • 11:01:58 pm

It is a culture of never being, not good enough.

If you are ever missing anything, you build it.


I have set in my car, pecking workout programs

Into little soft button and screen keyboards, that beep at me.

Independently inventing, interval timers.

I wrote a tiny program every holiday, independently inventing forever alone.

I invented and reinvented, everything, inside out.

My only limit was time, there was never enough time.


And here a fellow programmer, will check me here, and say...

You didn't go to programming school, just to have fun.

But that is because I didn't have time, neither parties not worker drones ever impressed me.

I had to learn to compose music, I had to master teaching digital art.

And being asked how many times a day, do clock hands overlap...

Or worst yet something trivial like, significance of deadbeef or what is OOP.

Makes me leave the interview, neither paychecks nor blood clots ever called to me.


And it wouldn't be about clock hands at all, it would be about re-inventing trigonometry.

Hey, all I need it a triangle, I see what those FREAKING angles are doing.

I like the trig program, but I hate the stupid interview questions.


DEADBEEF, C0 0FFEE as I prefer it, just so you know.

Those are words made with A-F letters, from hexadecimal notation.

It is not just spelling with hexadecimals, but these come up in binary things, files and chips and such.

Another piece of evidence that all coders eventually, just stop working, and just play around for deeeecades.


There is no time to figure out, all the formulas and questions.

A programmer must retire at 23 at most, and build startups for a hobby.

Sitting at the desk is deadly, we are not, to live in cubicles.

Or noisy and gassy, open spaces, a stand-up desk is just an admission of defeat.


Humans are artists first, you can code for art, but not for paychecks.

If you feel trapped, walk the Appalacian trail...

And follow up with the Pacific Crest, and Continental Divide trails, to get started.

Bring plenty of waterproof markers for your diagrams.


But this is where it happens, programming for Art's sake.

Here you learn the power of set theory, with just intersection and difference.

It will turn a 40 line program into, four lines, at most.


Here you program self re-sizable, gadgets for 3D printing.

And turn your artifact models, into intricate self assembling jewelry.

And yeah, you need a Raspberry PI vacuum, and it need a robust targeting system.

You haven't lived until you had to take out your FTP server, out the window.


But always remember, to choose wisely.

If an interview, is asking you stupid questions.

Leave, thy are looking for push-arounds, you go build your next program, time better spent.


When the ask what school, leave - they know schools don't teach.

They just want to know, that you are desperate to keep the job.

Enough so to shut up, and do what you are told.


The life of a programmer, is the life of a creature...

Who can interface with anything, and microscopically examine everything.

The only limit is always time, and so you adapt to write...

The same way that students should learn, in real scools.

You choose the sequence of programs that call to you, and you write them at your own pace.


All Programmers learn inside out, and they are always eight steps ahead of the interview questions.

If someone does not know about polymorphism or mixins, or EventSourcing, it is because they re-invented it, under a different name.

Programmers know when the interviews are lying, and they can tell when they are used ad filler material to hire another family member.

The best programmers, are Artists, Writers, Adventurers, Athletes Bodybuilders, Ultra-marathon Runners.

They are the fools that never cease loving life, they are always programmer second.

For the best programmers, programming is always second.


If I had to describe the life of a programmer with one word, I would use the pretty word: Watchmaker;