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The Human Tail Research Trials; Or, Beyond The Science Of Biology

Monday • October 24th 2022 • 9:54:01 pm

The Human Tail Research Trials; Or, Beyond The Science Of Biology

Monday • October 24th 2022 • 9:54:01 pm

On September 30th, 2022 I was struck by a fascinating question: "Given that humans still have a tailbone, will they benefit from having a full prosthetic tail?”

I immediately put on a fluffy tail, determined to scientifically study this issue.

For the full month of October, also 2022.

The following are the most interesting observations, the remaining 1,200 observations or so…

Will be published in the Journal of Science, in full, in the upcoming years.


While people that recognized me, from before wearing my tail, welcomed the new me.

Up until October 20th, most hoomans on the street, have strictly refused to acknowledge my presence.

I felt shunned, and rejected by strangers.

After the 20th however, I've been met with kindness and smiles.

As if welcomed, back


On one occasion a mail delivery specialist, uttered “What the dack?!”

And on another, I am certain, local store employees, thought to them selves “What the hell is even that? Get it out of here.”


Internally, my intellectual development has accelerated, this begun the instance I put my tail on.

My programming skills have skyrocketed, I will be using a combination of Svelte, PouchDB, Cytoscape-js and CodeMirror6.

To construct a new JavaScript hybrid editor, a cross between a Visual Programming Language and Plain Old JavaScript.

That can’t possibly take more than a couple of days, as the temporally improved intellect has resulted in impeccable library choices.

My gym workouts have improved, I lift heavier, I gained muscle and burned up fat.

I am more cheerful, and have more bounce in my step, at no point in my life have I ever been this flexible.

I have noticed that my music composition skills, have improved by a mile.

It is a view of music that is part wall-of-sound, and part appreciation of imperfections in samples.

Furthermore, I have perfectly recalled a childhood song, about a mixed breed puppy well loved by his little owner.

And while I failed to recall the melody in full, I still have seven days left in my scientific tail wearing research experiment science.

Here is the silly puppy song, sung to the best of my abilities – at this point in time.